Having grown up with Bollywood movies around, one can hardly expect logic from them. We don’t give a shit when the hero fights thousands of goons all at the same time, and we don’t really object when the couple in love dances on streets and everyone else follows. Mind you, they know all steps by heart.
It’s true that the legacy still continues and we don’t shy away from paying to watch it. But, I have had enough! Today, we are talking about the times Bollywood took medical science to a whole new level and fu*k*d up those years of strenuous training of a doctor.
Check ’em out:
A shoulder dislocation can be fixed by smashing it into a wall – Dishoom
Remember the scene where the star batsman Viraj Sharma (of course) suffers a shoulder dislocation while diving after a quick single. And the bizarre way he chooses to fix it will dislocate your brain instead.
Blindness can be ‘cured’ by hitting one’s head on the steps of a temple till it bleeds -Amar Akbar Anthony
So, the cine-maa, Nirupa Roy has been blind all this while but all of a sudden regains her sight in a Sai Baba temple after hitting her head on the steps. We hear this happened for real and we gotta give it to the writers for being so visionary.
Death can be avoided by striking a deal with God – Jab Tak Hai Jaan
Meera, an educated, YES EDUCATED, girl prays to God to spare her lover boy and in turn swears never to see him again. If you think it’s weird enough, guess what happens next. SRK actually recovers!
Death can be cured by brain transplant -Diya Aur Toofan
There’s this movie where Suresh Oberoi performs a ground breaking surgery when he transplants the brain of a dead Mithun Chakraborty into the brain-dead body of his to-be bride so that the girl can now take revenge of Mithun’s killers. Don’t miss the part where the brain is actually kept in an oven for storage. WTF!
Paralysis can be cured with an overdose of jhappis – Munna Bhai MBBS
Anand, the subject in Munna Bhai MBBS who could not feel a thing gets cured in a miraculous way. Remember how Sanjay Dutt’s annoying concern made him recover AF? Makes me believe there’s no need to study medicine. A tight hug and you’re done.
You can extract eyes from a living donor -Suhaag
When Amjad Khan wanted to make things okay, he decides to donate his eyes to his son Shashi Kapoor. The catch here is he was alive! Yes, very much alive while donating his eyes. Looks like the writers were high on weed.
Cancer can be killed by shooting a bullet through it – Dashavatar
We have seen bullets do all sort of crazy things in the movies down south but this one takes the cake (and cancer too). Yes, there’s a scene in the movie where a bullet takes away cancer from the voice box while leaving the voice intact. Mindblown?
Brain hemorrhage can be cured by pouring water through the brain – Rowdy Rathore
A police officer beats up a dozen people and sustains an injury on his head. He risks brain hemorrhage but wait, not if you pour water on it. Yes, that will do it! Screw logic. RIP Oncologists.
Mute kid starts speaking, because Bhai Bhai! – Bajrangi Bhaijan
I was head over heels in love with this piece and almost convinced that even Salman Khan’s movies can make sense. But woah! The climax made Munni scream at the top of her lungs and words fell off. While the entire audience lost it to “Mamaa..” I was left wondering WTF just happened!
In case of snake bites, request the snake to suck the poison out – Billa No.786
So, the villains decide to kill Mithun with a snake bite, because that’s what the bad guys do – carry poisonous snakes instead of guns! After a while people discover that even the most skilled doctor won’t make it so, there comes the savior. A thing which possibly looked like a snake sucks the poison out of him and Mithun jumps back in life. Still a better love story than Twilight though.